Sally Potter and the Truth Revealed!
by XxXHaRrY-RaDcLiFxXx
Summary: What if it turns out Harry has been a girl all this time? In this roller coaster of twist and turns that is the least incredible revelation. Trated for gore sex and mild swearing. If you don't review I hope you die.
1. Chapter 1

Harry Potter Faces Extinction For the Last TIME

Harry Potter Faces Extinction For the Last TIME!!\

\\chaopter oine

The aelxs rolled over in a bed of their own sweat. Oh no theya thought. Bad dremd "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" they said inthrie dreme. AND THEN THEY WQOKE UP…

"Hermineoi! Hermiemion! Hermy! I had bed deam. Plz listen to me yo, I had really baed dream." Yelled the alexsxd

"o rly lol meme I mean mokay shoot. As in talk now." Said ron, vihis impoersanashun of hermeossd being a very gud one. SO gude that men hav the sex wit him and sometimes her but hoo noes? Also in the last books hemrinoe were actuall ron and ron were ron too he is a master of disgusie!

'wel in drem i were being e the aelsex yuu know we r copol ehehehe but anywia the harri were in TRUBLE! WITH A CAPITA:LS EVERYHITNG."

'tell me what kinds of tgroble.?'

theat were not ron that were rreal hermonmioai. lol she is a real poerson.

BUt suiddelny there was a big thing and suddenly theiy coudln't tell the dream.

CHAPTER TPOWsomeone has done a rate big spell to make belif not arouynd ne more.

'i had a dremes' sids all the alexs

'WE dunt belif u, u lieing prik.'

'BUT I DID.'

'LIER.' said every1.

IDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDIDID! HE SCREmed, angstly. pul;ling out his hare but nut his hairt because itz 2 pretyy to do that , so hi pulld owut hErnornom s haire instewd.

BITCHFITE THEY ALL SEDE. WOO WOO WOO WO WO WOOOW OWOO MEEEOW.

THAT whas hot' saied hernmiono, 'nd nut the 1st tim ive had lezzo sex.' NUT THATS WE R SERPRISED EH REEDERz?

then all teh alexS usd the spel to make him a cock in his trouses agen.' SAID Haggers who is that narater hear. but nUT nemore or WED BE ouT of werk! OLOLOLOLL

hERNO roled over in bed nd, revealin a rack ful ov nippled, smokin a drag, sedi 'wht was u sayin about dream?'

'I hAD 1one were harry Potter got hert by comunistm!'

'LIER. URE HAVE NO DREAME COX THERS A SPEL MAKIN EVRY1 NUT BELIFE YU/'''

BITCHFITE.

CHAPETER 2

Horrel potetr rollds over in a bed also but it wer a bed of BLOOD and MOONLIGHT and haw;ling wolv was next to him, the wolves became a man who became a COMMIE BASTARD. "uih oh sed' harry. "I had bette hde"

bUT IT was too ;late8 becaux ofv da dream the Aeslx hav.e.

""hahahaha' said the nazi. 'I have tripled my troops into tripel dijits. now we bigger than the pigworts."

"that is hogwartz! German scum!' protested harry who now on strekching rakk., 'oW! "he said. "but i9 never talk"

'you WILL tawk. YES...you WILL tork...ore u wil DYE !" said Hitler on wheels/

'how culd yu do sucha thing i sav woerld wiv help of frend Alesxa and sumtymes ron do a lil thing that is needed but really we may hav figurd owt for owselfs."

'arent you forgettin Hercules?

'thats HOGSWARTS nazi hater!!' 'Oh wiat said harry relisn the mistayk "no that is heragoyle. she no help. sonce i got disease frum her, and nearly died."

"Oh ythat sound bad no wonder you hate the commies. I join good side AKA capitalist now.' he sipped away on USSR helipadcopter.

BUT WHEN YOU KILL ONE COMMIE TWO MKORE TAKE THEIR PLCEA. SO TWO NEW COMMIES CAME ALONG STRONGETR THAN BEFORE.

'help me ae4lsxc!!" cried the harriy.

chappoerCHAPPER FREE (3hr33)

DUMBLE has 2 help. THat is t numba-onest rule of haegwaerts. Nhe Second rule is alway kill thee badies

DUmble sudnely broke frough da wondow on a spidarweb made of his rist. 'HOW HAPPEND 2 U DUMBLE?' SAIU SUPER comrade Hilter . 'i got bit by a tellyactiv (LIKe radyoactiv but newer.) spidder nd it geve mi supperpowa.A ND thates MR DOOR 2 u.'

'NOP" said Mr Hitler the leder of all the nazimmunists 'I M THE LEDERS OF all Higwars noe!'

:ONON" sid Dumble Door. MY SPIDERY SENse r tinglin . ithink HITLE UP 2 none good.

'I BEN TRING 2 TELL U TAHST ALL ALONGE!' cried Happy Pottr cring it loundly and terring oat HERMBULANCE 's haires.

_flashBack to the future! (BUt not the DOc nd MICALE J FOXXY lol)_

HERY PORter got out of hism bed of deseite nd blood adn cried 4 his lost luv. EVER WAS LOST TO COMUNISIM. "wot wil I do now? HITRLeR nows the secrit ID of SPIDERWIzard (Mr DoOR) nd the ALexse r nohere to b found?' WATA WILLY I DO?

_flashback to CHAPTR 4OUR!_

tHA trooth of th e matert was that rthe aelelxs weas in jaol. (you now, Akzabon)

He scer4am d 'I h8 dis place and wsant to go hom were sodomdy is lexs komon'!

'y in jail' said cell m8.

'Iget not bel;ievd and now in gail for kilng harry potter.'

'omfg yu are bad man i dun wana mayk you my bitch now'

'now you dunt understand I am the allexz. i savbd hugwurst toou!'

'oh so you jealuoxz of haury becuaz stele the spot litew?'

'no i luv harry he is my husband and we luve each other and I diun care what you say dad.'

'you have troubled poast"

'i know i were raped and then parents abandoned me but were picked up by a band of hitchhikers'

'that were luckky" said men now a friends of the alexs who wil be all the sidekycks pof he now. His name is the Joshes.

'yer you is rite n thanz fur understandsing mne wehn noone else woulde :)' say thew alexs but not all cuz sum wer weeping. WEepding tearws of joy. for happines.

':)' said jushis. 'NOW we savf hogwerts anmd the ahrry and kill the commies but not before we ghet capitalist buddies like Jog Bush and Bi8lls G8s'

'to the aeloxmobile!' (there were seven enginies in it and power windows +sterring for free PLUS no on-rode cozts: it the ultomite famlomly car.)

they get to hogwarts v. qucik with lots of stile. 'Hey this car is gr9t. too bad you hit that hermosaurus.'

'yesa now fender all bend"

'at least there 4yr guanranatee so you ken tayk it bak'

'DO YOU SEE KIDS? CAPITOIALSIM MEANS YUR CAR CAN BE RPLACED IF YA DUN LYKE IT."

now we sneak up using money' seasd the Ollaxz, who maylk up gud plans all the tiome despit bein raped in dark past filled wit paine.

The team paid off all the commies whod neva heard of moni but reliset at once whow koolle it be. 'We neva hate baby Jesus again' said the comies. 'Now we go and make a lviing in America wher the life is gud and the happuy is all over ths shop!'

Now with most of the naxzi defetd, Harry i mean Alledsx and Jyshes...lol...get to HQ of the godless tools of Satan. Now rede next biut (ITS SO COOL U NOT BELIVA UR EYES LIKE THE PPL DIDNT WHEN ALEX GET SPEL ON HEIM)

Chompter #858

ND ATHT IS hwo millins uf ppl naemd Alex nd JOshe sved day. alos, trun ur cloks bak coz it;'s time 4 evry1 2 sav day for " said PRofeser dumble Mr Door

"everyon1 claped. U Hve tourght us het valiu of monny, HRAPEY PORKER , nd I HAVE LOADS OF nuw anouncsements 4 all dem phat as in P-H-AT stundents(NUT FAT LoL. UR GONA GO 2 PRSON iNSTED).

'omg ' seid evrystudent who as nut fat coz theys wer 2 bussy eatin greece.

''I HAVE used magik to move HAgwort to THE STATES!

"WTF ' said evr kid hoo wasnt fat 'WHY U DUN TATSH!?'

'DUN U NO?'' scremed DUMble "IT Is thes GRATEST land iN THA wurld!"

'YES YES WE CAN LIVE FREE NOW froeedom and demokrasy! SO BEUTIFUL!.'

'MUNNY 4 ERVRY1!" A MOUTHEE ON EVRY PLAT UNDER EVERY ROOF!

Nd thens the stundnts went in plantform 91/2 in der subwayaa whocich tok tehtm to ther schol in the STATUTE of LIBERT.

'I LOVE U JESUS.' SAD THE WORLD. "oUR SAVIER MAGIC.' 'GOD OF HOGWORT.

_flashback to a sneek peak at next bock..._

HAERU and JOSHS nd ALESES all cmae off de subwae after batling a magisc hobo nd having a three(MILLON)-way orgy. thes LIBERTYT BELl rang/toled A milion times 'ONO WER LATE! RUNRUNRUNRUNRUNRUN!'

'wot u want?" said Ronronronronronron.

'NOLOL. UR SILY.'

'LIER! SCREED HERNACULAR

BITCHFITE.


	2. The Red Truth Exposé

THIS IS WHAT HAPPEN IN COMUNISTM

Harry took out a magic colden slise of metal. They we4er called "coins' in Hogwarts. He putted it in 2 the vending machin and it vending coil got stuck on a passin snake what said "dumbass hary I gottas problem with you. there for ima give you hassles in yur daily live." then it left. 'DAMMIT' he screamed. 'that was my last magic metals. I hate you8 MALFOY"

Malfoy shamblwed past holding a snake custome 'I dunno what your talking about the heh heh heh' Yeah ya do Harry shooted , 'you filed that snake costum with a badger that cud speak and make it stopped my chocc0 bar.'"lol close but no sigar...or should I say no chooklit bar heh heh?'

"Mcgonagl why is Malfoy still herte? Aftert al that rapin he done he should be outta here like stink on a warthog, no offence to you, cuz your ugly like a warthog so you might take offesnce?" Macdonald shook her tusked head S'okay, I am a real uggo. Anyway, I would love noffing more than to kick him out but Malfoi is marrid to Dumbldoe … n his like the king of Hogwarts lol hog, its like what i am.' "DAMN NEPOTISM" harrel angsted, but then he

Chap.2. (its abbrev so that is quicker to write for me)

(Suoppsed to be chapter two, btw)

Julius Caeshermione had anover rash but this tim on her kids they wer all scratty and had lice in their teeth and shose . if u need ne help u jus call me OKAY said socliel workr but he nevr call her bak and she put out an evrythin.

"mum" sayd kid

woh"

'my dreims hurt'

she put him in his matres an found MR cudles wot he cant sleppe wivout an he was norring on the elctric blankt she stole from Red cros.. it wasnt Mr cuddles an she was sad bcos kid coudl be up al night and be a fuxken pain in ass if ghe keps comin up in her rom wich he dos. she locke door but he crols throuh the plastr. but there was a bunch of ratts all ova and Kid's a retard an couln tel the diff so he jus cudle that 1

"dun wory kiddo u shutup and have night night" and she gave him night night wich wos those pils she kept unda the sink she stole from Red X and they seem 2 work ok

she did nt care

haha

wen she wok up an threw up a magic man was in her room but she cud telit wast her kid or a 'client' coz he wus standn in the cornser that leakd stuf from the seling ashe wsnt't shurewhat it was but those guys up stairds dd fucn wierd shit an if u got that stuf on ur skin u shat an blod cam out then an ther. she told the clinets to keep away frum it coz getin turds n blod in her fanny wasnt good for bisnis on weekdays and the kids lernd or died. t was a real junjle out ther in her houwse an she makse no apolgise.

so this guy was niot herf clinet fuckser and proli not a kid cos he was adulnt an if hwe stood under therer he woudnt hav made it thart far lol.

"U FUK OF MR FROM THE COUNTRY STATE DEPT I TOL U I DUN HAV ENSY KIDS'

a kid tumbled out of hesr loins an died. it was sad so feel sroy for her

also a kid crols out of her matres but no 1 saw him becase he loked like the rats that evry1 thowrt wer like tiny smelly janitors coz they clenaed up all the crums an wer like milions opf mums to him. he lived a full life an maried a nice girl with 1/2 a tail until he died at 3 and.

"I'm her 2 tel u ur kid is magic"

"u cant prove nufing!' she screamed at the lamp next nex to him and threw up agen "Oficer, fuck u.' U can't prove he did nuffin and u cant prov hes my Kid and hes so fcuekn in truble he not getin no child suport abnd not getin mommys spelceil drink ne more an did i say FUCK YOU OFICERS"

she trew up blod from her vag and he an saw everythin.

"No, u c i came 2 teach music 2 him'

"U cant prove I have Kid."

'Y not?"  
"B-coz he might be ded i duno."  
Tehy went 2 check and the stairds colapsed and no 1 came to help.

Chapte 3

Ron and him bros were like twennie years Alan Older now because 25 years had passed. They were mixin drugs like meds and pills and syrginres and the blood of prepubescent virgins (Lioke rons actor from the first movie, or most ofEmma Watson's litter) to make the ultimate drug: Cough medicine. At least that were its streetsname. Real name was Robert. But Robbo didn't like that so he went by Cough Medicien. "quick my bros" said one of them gingers who were the brothers 'Texas Holdemort Needs This ShipMent By Tuesday, and Today Is Tuesday, which is now!"

Wormtail and Seriously Black scurried in, beggin for the scrap drugs becaux the7y were addicted to magic now (this were reel good shit that made everyone adikted forevs so VOldemrnt got ultrarich but hes a simpathetic chracter anyway for you see... oh wait this isnt a musical. k i just say it: he was born into a fasmily with a mom n a farder like all good ones, but they were both gays and so ther was TWO Mas and Pas each, all gay for each other. Do you have any idea what that kinder sin duz tu a CHILD think of the CHildREn. well now look ant Voldemtt and ask yerself if you want your kids to be likle him. If not, you bettr kill some fags and dykes before they bum youe wife and lay AIDS eggs in her chest wish burst out like forty seconds later like in ALiens.)

'ohonooo its them Junkys. Redhead bro #4 get the brume." said redhead #3. He wuld have dunnit himselv but he was distracing the Colo0mbian Durglord who was always trying to by them out from geting in. His name is Hagrad. "Yo mon its the Haggers lemme in so I ken take the ganjas from ye." 'soz no" "y'all gona pay for that!' Hagried swore, remarking at the turtds the junkeis stole from his bhowels. "Their not even owr junkis. Ours are over there" Ron sai, pointing at Snape and i dunno who else is in the boke? Filtch I guess. who givs a rfuck/

The nHagrsd tok out a skrewdirver and through it so that the evil junki9es both got hit &turned into a shisckabab n he took them home. (Maybe he is rich, but all the money in the world cant buty food in Kolombeer. Please don8 to the Haityi fund because that place is close to Unitd St8es of SounthAmerica so mebbe some will fall from the plane and land on Haggers country)

"What we sdo with all this video killed hte radeoactiv star waste? I mean piss?'

"dump it over thar, in that korner what we always do, dum hookah with Kid never complains because we keep her doped up on poison' Ther was a nosie. A brother went: "Did you heer that kabboom? Sunded like a staircass kerllapsin." "Nvm, if anyone was dead theyd ask fur help"

Ron got angry how stupidde that was"u fueckin dickehd! wotif they were Poilish or from the mAfias? Then they coudlnt ask because thay hav no Eglish" Suddebntyl, Ronald McDonald - I mean Mcgonalgle because they were marid pretti sure I tole u 3earliyar def old cun't - had a funny thort : Ima gon give Daniel a call" "Daneil?" (his brother said this, because they could reqad each otehrz fourghts) "Yes" "O Daniel Radlicfe, who plays Hary Potter in life, you should tell hium how great he was fighting those villaisn who are real to schizo rfeaks like you" You see theyd becum separted since they all depheted Voldemrt, who turned ot to be sympetetic l;ike I said. except some fo tehm, didn't.

Ch4ptOr 5 or shoudl be sed Ch5ter? i dunno tell me.

This is the bit wher all sotrys come togeths because i wrote it like that. Harry used to be the "  
boy who lived", but now he wasn't/ He was the man who died at the end of this chapter, on the loo."  
Him used 2 seme like a brite future (but then so did Herbgarden, and she turned into a Weasly, so nothinK is certain in this dark werld} but now he was a simple starcase repairman.

ThEnd

Prolog:

He lost his job.


End file.
